📷: @hisuzanne (featuring @thelaceyminimalist)
These days, several different apps or services claim to solve all your dating problems. What they don't mention is that this kind of dating may not be for everyone. We saw this photo on Instagram with "Seeking (Boy)friend of A Friend..." written on one of our boards and were curious about what it was. When we saw that it was Lacey taking the initiative and offering up a big reward to any of her friends who could find her the one, we wanted to know more.
To start off, tell us the story behind this photo.
I’ve been on dating apps, up to 6 at a time, with little success, and I thought there had to be a better way, I just had to take a creative approach. The people I’ve had success in dating, always turn out to know at least one friend of mine. That’s when I had the idea to reach out to my friends for help.
The idea is simple: set me up with a guy that I go on 10 dates with and I’ll give you a thousand dollars. It’s not a game; it’s a new idea in millennial matchmaking. Hey, you don’t get what you don’t ask for, right?
How did you come up with this idea?
At first I was thinking of the most clever ways to visualize the idea. I thought telling the story through traditional dating profile pic faux pas would be funny, but then I realized I was just talking to myself. I thought on it for awhile, but the answer had been staring me in the face. My friend had given me a Letterfolk board as a housewarming gift last year, and it just hit me. The letter board was visually arresting and fit with my minimalist aesthetic. I pitched the idea to my good friend, photographer Suzanne Saroff, and we shot it a few days later in my apartment in Brooklyn.
There are so many technologies that claim to help with dating. In your opinion, what are they missing?
I think because dating apps are so random and many don’t let you use filters, you have to sift through so many people in order to find what you’re actually looking for. And when you put yourself in the other person’s shoes, the same goes for them. You might not be what they are looking for either. It’s really rare to align and be on the same page at the same time.
Once I went on a date unknowingly with my best friend’s brother’s best friend. We went out in New York, but he lives in LA — the perfect example of both a small world and not being aligned.
How is dating harder now compared to previous generations?
I wouldn’t say it’s harder; it’s just different. I grew up with a single mom and watched her use services like Great Expectations where you did a photoshoot in their studio as well as make a VHS tape answering questions about yourself. To look for a compatible match, you had to go in person and browse 3-ring binders full of printed profiles. Crazy, right!? Even though the technology has evolved, there’s still a yearning for a little humanity.
What kind of feedback have you gotten from people about this idea? Have people related with your struggles?
The feedback has been extremely positive. I got an outpouring of high fives and a set ups within a few hours. I’ve reconnected with old friends, mentors and even been introduced to a real life yenta! A lot of women have reached out in support of the idea and one woman even reposted my photo in an effort to try the experiment herself. It’s comforting to know others feel the same way and are looking out for me.
You mention that the prospective boyfriend must love XS dogs...What kind of small dog would the perfect man have?
I mentioned that because I have a 5lb deer chihuahua named Valley. Extra small dogs are kind of like cats: either you love them or you hate them, and a potential match should know that we’re a package deal!
How has it been going so far? Have any of your friends cashed in on the $1000 dollar reward?
No one has cashed in yet! I’ve gone on a few set ups, but I’ve also gone out with a few guys that have written me directly. That has been the nicest surprise, because it’s attracting the type of guy I’m looking for, a confident and open-minded person not afraid to take a chance. It’s been really fun so far, but I am still looking if someone reading this wants to add matchmaking to their resume!
Lastly, we always like to ask: what is currently up on your letter board?
I still have up “Happy Birthday Valley” from the birthday brunch I hosted at my apartment in Brooklyn. I’ll take any excuse to host and bake zucchini bread for my friends.